The Background is a Ruse

What was supposed to be an art blog but is now more of a general blog.
My Humble Abode /Inquiries/ Submissions/#herzi makes arts

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dat-soldier:

officialunitedstates:

I want to be the first person on the moon to shoot a sniper rifle at earth and hit a wasp nest.  my whole life so far is leading up to that moment

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3 seconds ago with 167,362 notes

orlandoisinbloom:

quick thingy before i do homework

hurraaid:

pleatedjeans:

Things Are a Little Different in Scotland (22 Pics)

SPEAKING OF WHICH

WE WERE ON THE WAY TO MY GRANNY’S TODAY AND WE SAW A MILK VAN AND JUST

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SCOTLAND

officialunitedstates:

Welcome to futuristic Chicago, a series of dilapidated skyscrapers, a lack of Lake Michigan, and some sort of ugly chicken wire fence to keep the birds out.  Ever since the brutal war 100 years ago, some order needed to be restored, and boy was it ever. 

Here’s where Beatrice Prior comes in, our heroine for the next two hours and fifteen minutes.  You see, Beatrice has just turned 13, had her Bat Mitzvah, and now it is time to make the one decision that will impact the rest of her life.  Which of Chicago’s great factions will she choose to join: the nice Amish, the anti-war Amity, the brutally honest Candor, the war-mongering Dauntless, or the people who have an IQ over 100 Erudites?  To keep things simple just remember Candor and Amity do not matter at all in this movie.

To help make Beatrice’s life easier, she takes a quick psychological test where she has to choose which weapon is best to fight off a wild dog, a slab of meat or a knife.  Fortunately, Beatrice is vegetarian so her choice is easy, but before she gets a chance to select the knife (game lag perhaps?) the items mystically disappear and the dog lunges.  Unfortunately, Beatrice has lived her life Amish so far and thus does not have any fighting skills. The virtual dog beats her up a bit.

Because Beatrice does not select fast enough, she is deemed a Divergent (hey that’s the title) and must keep this secret, because as we all know, people who do not fit into one cookie-cutter category are horrible.  Beatrice’s stats are as follows: an IQ over 100, is war-mongering, and still is Amish.  This certainly is a problem isn’t it.

The following day, Beatrice must choose a faction to call her own.  This involves sitting in a large auditorium waiting to be called down to cut her hand with a knife (everyone uses the same knife; there are no blood-transmitted diseases in the future apparently) and drop some blood on the faction’s cauldron of her choosing.  When it is Beatrice’s turn, she cuts her hand with the gross knife and then is about to pick the Amish when all of a sudden a large gust of wind pushes her blood droplet to the war-mongering Dauntless bowl.  Sorry Betty, there are no take backs.

Betty now has joined Dauntless and must prove herself in a series of hazing rituals before the 2nd in command guy will make out with her.  His name is Four because there are five factions.

Eventually Beatrice figures out that the people with an IQ over 100 are bad and plotting to make the war-mongering people take out the Amish.  This upsets Beatrice because her parents are Amish and she herself is 1/3 Amish.

All of a sudden everyone in Dauntless lines up to be brainwashed.  Beatrice doesn’t really feel like getting brainwashed, but they inject her with the brainwashing drug regardless.  However, since she is Divergent, she is fine.  The brainwashing drug only works on people who are solely war-mongers, of course.

The smart people activate the mind-control device and the Dauntless folks all file into downtown Chicago and start rounding up the Amish, the greatest threat to world peace.  Betty tries to pretend like she has been brainwashed along with love interest Four, but they are quickly discovered.  Four is captured, but Betty escapes because her mom is one good shot with a paintball gun. 

Betty and her mom race through Chicago on their way to meet up with Dad, but her mom is not fast enough and gets shot in the street.  Betty cries for 23 seconds before continuing on her mission to find her father.

After ringing several doorbells, Betty eventually finds her father and her brother (he’s not important) and a couple of other Amish farmers.  They decide they need to infiltrate the Dauntless headquarters because for some reason the Smarties have taken it over as their base of operations for the mind-control operation. 

Betty and the Amish clan invade the HQ, but Betty’s father decides he wants to play hero and gets shot by a paintball gun.  He needs some time to recuperate so Betty goes on solo into the deep, dark HQ.  There she finds a bunch of smart people and her love interest Four.  He is super Divergent so he is immune to mind-control.  This is great news, because these two alone know enough martial arts to take out all the smart people.  Betty stabs a smart lady in the hand with a knife because she wanted to try out her knife throwing skills that she learned back in training.  Smart lady turns off the mind-control and the Amish are saved. 

Love interest Four and Betty ride off into the sunset and move to the suburbs to live a quieter life where they can practice knife throwing in peace.  Betty refuses to marry him until he changes his name to a cooler sounding number.

If you like Ellie Goulding, there are 3 Ellie Goulding songs that play throughout the movie.  If you like people running fast to jump onto moving trains, there are also exactly 3 of those scenes. 

3/5 stars because I felt there could be more Ellie Goulding and running fast to jump onto moving trains scenes.

So last night I got drunk and played Skyrim

karlosmadera:

I’m still torn on whether this is the greatest thing I’ve ever done or the stupidest. 

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2 hours ago with 25,445 notes

pupbutt:

no words to even describe how much I prefer cold weather over hot weather 

2 hours ago with 192,114 notes

8120

promo4homo:

still my favorite post

potentialforart:

racconconnoisseur:

themysteryofgravityfalls:

It’s just like being at SDCC! Now where’s FullBars?

the Halloween style opening is HOT!

screaming SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING!!!!

sassykardashian:

sassykardashian:

"haven’t spoken since 2 years" I WONDER WHY KEVHIN, I FUCKING WONDER WHY

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE:

og-sludgebone:

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OR

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5 hours ago with 260 notes

  • baby: d-d-d-d
  • dad: daddy? are you trying to say daddy?
  • baby: d-d-don't you think this meme format is more than a little played out. I am tired of the way that tumblr does not seem to know when to leave well enough alone when it comes to humor online. The more and more I've had to see posts like this the less and less funny they become. And it does not just go for this "baby saying it's first word" post format. I honestly came out to have a good time, spiders georg, and the mere concept of skeletons have all recently been subject to tumblr's strange obsession with rapid desensitization to a meme. The law of diminishing returns practically states that with every new variation on a meme, every time you add something to the already successful formula, it will be less successful, maybe not in note amount, but in post quality. And if we are living in a world where you value your note count more than you value the service you are providing to other bloggers with your insight or jokes, then you are practically a capitalist and is that really what you want? Tumblr, are you really in support of meme capitalism or can we, as a website, try to come together and create something more, something bigger? We can usher in a meme utopia. It is within our grasp. Thank you.

5 hours ago with 6,988 notes

fuzzleyan:

I love video games. I love video games a lot.

I am terrible at video games.

5 hours ago with 112,396 notes